Correction

I am a timid person.

That's an odd way to start a post, I suppose, but it's the truth. I'm no trailblazer, no adventurer, I'm not the one who discovers things. I usually sort of sit in my corner and hem and haw and act awkward until something bad happens and then congratulate myself on calling it when, in fact, I could have handled it much better.




This doesn't translate well to the real world, as I've noticed. 

I am also a proud person, which, upon first recognition, surprised me. Other people criticize people in their heads and other people check out the sawdust in people's eyes. Turns out I had a pretty big plank to be dealing with.

These two factors lead to small disasters, occasionally. And loads of correction.

When faced with a new situation, it is kind of crucial, perhaps, to get a read on it, but you've still got to do something. Caution is all well and good, but it doesn't lead to things happening.

So, when faced with my current situation, I've started by handling it badly, with a combination of timidity and pride and have thus far managed to spend parts of my time here either overthinking things (convincing myself that everything is going to go wrong, wrong, wrong) or else thinking "well, at least I don't do that (insert stereotypical foreigner-type action)."

I'm learning, though, and that's part of the process. I've realized that I need a bit of gumption and a double helping of humility (and more than a little Grace, of course). I cannot take this trip from the sidelines and I cannot continue to live in my own head. This is An Adventure, not A Chore and I need to stop treating it like that.

This is vague, of course, and kind of meandering, but it needs to be put down so that I remember, even if absolutely no one else cares.

And to the people who have to deal with the timid/proud mess that I am, I sincerely apologize.

The very boring title of "Days 1-2"

Right, so, I've been in Tokyo for a bit more than twenty-four hours at this point and all I can say is that I had no idea that I could be this tired.

Well, actually, I have more to say than that, obviously, or this wouldn't be a thing. Jet lag is just a bit foremost in my mind at this point.

Jet lag is evil. And, before I continue, I suppose I should apologize for the rambling nature of this post. I am exhausted and overwhelmed and have so much to say.

Sorry.

 I should start, probably, by stating that my Japanese is... well, not good, let's say. It's not a lack of proper instruction, heaven knows I've had excellent teaching in that regard. It's just that Japanese hasn't stuck well in my -already cluttered with bits and bobs of other languages- mind. Hence my mild astonishment that I managed to make it as far as I have without incident.

After a mildly harrowing debacle with my first itinerary (which was no one's fault and actually ended up better for me, I might add), I ended up flying from Chattanooga to Chicago, and then from Chicago directly to Tokyo. 




So, I have hereby done my longest and furthest plane ride ever solo. While I've been out of the US before, it wasn't by myself, so right now, I'm a bit over-proud of myself for not doing my usual 'away from home stress' breakdown. And massively, massively surprised.

I also realized why people complain about being on a flight with a baby. I hereby submit that being on a flight with small children is much, much worse. But, all the same, I cannot imagine the stress of  taking a small child on a plane, much less on a trans-Pacific flight. I feel for the guardian of the children who sat behind me (and kicked the back of my chair when I was trying to sleep, but that's by the by). I feel even more so for the attendants.

Also, there's that "I don't speak Japanese" thing that was sort of awkward on my flight, although the attendants were fluent in English and very helpful, and it was likely only nerves that had me convinced that I was an annoyance.




But that first view of Japan made it all worth it. I was lucky enough to be in a window seat which meant that I could gaze in fascinated adoration at the country unfolding below me and not cause any awkwardness or hassle for my... what would you call them? Row-mates?

I worry, currently, that I am far too dependent on the fact that I am lucky enough to have a situation in which everyone is happy to help me by speaking in English with me and explaining everything as many times as I need it explained. I feel, somehow, that I should know/remember/understand more than I do and that I've set myself up for a terrific amount of gaffes.

Which is not to say that I'm not incredibly (actually, credibly, considering the amount of blessings I've received on this trip) thankful for my host family. I did not realize before I came here how significant a gesture it was for a family to take in a stray American student with only a vague grasp of their language and cultural norms.

And they take good care of me. I could not ask for a more kind, enthusiastic, or welcoming host family. My host father likes Elvis and personally took me to my school today, after spending some time planning and then explaining (though I almost fell asleep at the table during that explanation) the easiest routes, taking me by an ATM. He even bought me lunch in a Japanese restaurant on the way back, discussing the menu with me and describing everything on the plate for me. My host mother apparently likes Lady Gaga, though we've not had much time to discuss that yet. She also personally made sure that I could connect to the internet, spending an inordinate amount of time to make sure that it was well connected and properly useable for me. My host sister is sweet and a bit shy, though I've not had much time to talk with her yet.

I'm a bit terrified, however, that I'll unintentionally be rude or unhelpful to them. I know they wouldn't hold it against me and that they'd understand but, all the same, they've done so much for me that I'd not want to repay them with anything but my utmost gratitude.

So far, I've only seen the bit of Tokyo from the car on the way to the airport and on today's foray to the school. But, of what I've seen, I like it very much. It's not what I'd imagine it to be, not in the slightest, and I'm not sure how to describe it, either. "Magical" is both a cop out and a bit inapt, and would frankly make me sound a bit of a bumpkin. But it's quite something. And huge. Enormous.

Also, I took the train. I should not be as excited about it as I am, especially considering how crowded it'll be tomorrow...

I stopped by the school as well, as previously stated, had a quick tour and brief meeting with my... boss? I suppose that works for function, at least. I also had a chance to quickly meet the kids and the other teachers. I'm a bit more intimidated by the job than I thought I'd be, and I'm kicking myself for not asking about a dress code sooner, though, of course, all shall be well.

God is good and I am blessed beyond my exhaustion and terror and lack of proper preparation.

Also I should get a watch. It's a thing that should happen. I didn't realize how dependent on my phone I was -not for calls, but for the clock. And the calculator. And the time zone converter.

Anyways.

Also, I'll start with the pictures -both the uploading and the taking of them- when I've had a bit more rest and am better used to everything.